In turbulent times, the world needs us focused and positive.
Rachael, the CEO of Jewel Toned her desk
I was at a formal dinner in Santa Monica the other day. I had the unfortunate luck of being sat next to a gentleman (kind of) who asked me what I did. Here’s how that convo went immediately after the introduction:
Him: What do you do?
Me: I’m a fashion designer. You?
Him: What kind? (ignoring my question)
Me: I own a lingerie company focused
on empowering women.
Him: Why do you think it’s important to empower women?!
Me: *blank stare*
His position was that sexism is women blowing things out of proportion and getting worked up because of their hormones. I calmly illustrated a few examples that myself and colleagues had experienced and that I receive letters from my customers sharing similar instances of imbalance. He eye-rolled me and when his friend happened to come over, he let him know that things were “getting a little dicey” and “you know how women are, tell you later” I was immediately infuriated at this point.
He is entittled to his opinion about sexism. What makes him frightening is his minimization of me as a person because of my gender. He was willing to stir the pot in an inappropriate setting, but not willing to truly engage or hear me. I was upset because if he thought my visible restraint in comments and difference in opinion was “dicey” he hasn’t met a woman who has faced adversity and stepped into her power. This wasn’t the time nor place to get into a heated discussion, so his inappropriateness started there. I realized he was doing the exact thing that he does not see. He doesn’t see it because he’s the problem. When we dismiss someone’s opinion based on assumptions, we’re the problem.
He was considering my opinions frivolous and invalid because “you know how these lady business women are” vibes. I wanted to let him know all my thoughts, which typically go straight from brain to mouth with no filter, but I was raised right and a wedding is not the place. I painfully kept my mouth shut and contemplated it the next day. My conclusion was that we need to create space, breathe and remain focused and positive. We need a safe place to share with other women when this is happening so we aren’t alone. The lesson is to be a haven for other women, and to not reverse discriminate with assumptions about men. We need to really hear each other.
When we get mad, let’s turn that energy into divine feminine power and inspire those around us! All genders, all colors all faiths. Spaciousness creates oneness.