We know Coachella, what has practically become a holiday for LA natives, that spans over 2 weeks in Coachella Valley, is just around the corner. If you are a virgin to the desert, let me give you a heads up…
It may all sound amazing - music, drinks, dancing, your favorite bands plus all of your friends - best combo ever, right? But the nightmare, or let’s just say challenge, begins the moment you leave whichever mode of transportation you take to the Polo Fields. You warm up your day by walking one mile only to stop at a snaked line to get into the venue. Don’t think you’re exempt if you sprung the extra few hundred dollars to get VIP wristbands. By the time you make it into the grounds it’s a mad dash to the bathrooms, which is quickly met with a long, slow wait in another beautiful line with a bunch of beautiful “free spirited” people. You’ll have lots of time to wonder about how the girl in the full body, latex outfit in front of you is going to manage all by herself in the confined space. Let me tell you, your free spirit dies inside that port-o-potty, especially if you drop all of your cash for the weekend inside that black hole (Yes – it actually happened).
The Major Mini in Blush underneath a sheer maxi dress makes for a desert-ready outfit that is the perfect mix of flowy and bathroom friendly. Get it here.
When everyone is finally done using the facilities, minus the 5 pounds of sweat you lost while in that heat trap, you need a drink, right? So, let’s hit the bar… Now the big dilemma, what to drink?! All of the sudden, everyone wants something fancy, that they probably wouldn't even drink IRL. After spending half your pocket money and energy going back and forth with the person behind the bar about which alcohols they do and do not have (mostly hearing that they don’t have the first 5 kinds of drinks you want), it’s time to go hear some nice music (and try to forget about how much of a struggle it has been to make it through)!
Pair Jewel Toned's Rockin Bodysuit with a pair of cutoffs and oversized sunnies for an effortless outfit. Get it here.
Just when you’re able to take a breath and are ready to release all of your positive thoughts and energy into the rest of your day and weekend, you are stopped and told that you are not allowed with your drink inside. WTF! So, you chug down your $40 drink and leave the beer garden. While your group fights over which acts to see, you now decide that you should probably drink some water. It’s not cute to pass out from dehydration or exhaustion (or whatever other reason the 16-year-olds in bathing suits end up at the paramedics station).
Let me make a brief side note here: before buying or even thinking of going to Coachella, you have to be very comfortable being alone. This is something that is going to happen… a lot!
As soon as you make your way back to get water, you realize that you’ve been talking to yourself the entire journey, and you probably lost your friend back by where you saw the guy on stilts wearing a headdress. You try to shake it off and make the best out of your current situation (unleashing positive thoughts). After all you’re at Coachella! You try to just roll with the punches, only to realize you are surrounded by a bunch of those 16-year-old kids, who are passing out or making out with an art installation (This also really did happened). And you are still alone and still haven't had the chance to go see your favorite band. But the worst part of it all, is realizing that you are just too old for this s#*!
So, I would suggest saving all that energy and just going to the fabulous pool parties, where the food and drinks are free, you can actually dance and drink at the same time and you wont feel old. After all, Coachella’s for kids!
Advice from the queen of festivals, Barbara Walters the dog.
May 25, 2017
Posted by Devon Norris
May 22, 2017
Posted by Devon Norris